


Homecoming

by redeem147



Category: Buffy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-30
Updated: 2011-07-29
Packaged: 2017-10-21 23:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 13,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/231005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redeem147/pseuds/redeem147
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Spike comes back from Africa and all hell has broken lose.  Written before season seven.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“You’re back.”

 

Spike turned around at Xander’s voice. “I’m surprised. Thought you woulda trashed the place by now.”

 

“I thought about it. But I was hoping you’d stay away.” He stepped closer to the vampire. “Since you’re back, I decided it would be better just to kill you.” He raised his fist. “Plunging a stake through your heart would be very satisfying, but I think I’ll enjoy beating your head in until your chip runs out your ear much more.”

 

Spike put up his arm and blocked the blow. “I’d think twice about that, mate.”

 

“Don’t call me mate.” He smashed his fist into the side of Spike’s jaw, hearing a satisfying crack, but the vampire just stood there, unflinching.

 

“I owe you that one.” While Xander wound back for the next blow, the vampire shot his hand out with lightening speed, clutching him under the jaw. “But only that one.” He kept his grasp at an even pressure, holding the human in place. “And I wouldn’t count on that pesky chip. It’s gone.”

 

Xander’s eyes grew wide with fear. “How?”

 

“Don’t matter. But you should know, that with just a tad more pressure, I could crush your larynx. A little twist, and your neck’s broken. Very little effort, and I could rip your head from your body and use it as a chalice.” He stared into Xander’s eyes. “You’ve hurt me, Harris. Said things, done things, that I should never forgive. I should kill you.”

 

“Then do it,” Xander croaked, defiantly. “End it.”

 

“No.” Spike released his grasp, and Xander fell to his knees, gasping for air. “Don’t really interest me anymore.” He helped the dark haired man to his feet. “Besides, I’ve hurt you just about as deep as one man can another. That why you came here? Cause of the demon?”

 

“I came because of Buffy.” He rubbed his reddened throat. “I know about it. All of it. Every sordid detail. I came because you destroy everything you touch. I came because I hate you.”

 

Spike leaned back against the crypt wall. “How is Buffy? I’m assuming if she told you, she’s had her true confession time. The gang’s back together and she’s gotten on with her life. Good for her.”

 

“You don’t know.” Xander considered how much to tell him. “She’s a mess. She quit her job. Social services took Dawn away. I don’t think she’s eaten since you left. Giles is back, but she doesn’t listen to him. All because she fell in love with you, you bastard. And just like every other fool she’s let into her life, you left her.”

 

Spike picked his duster off the chair. “She’s at home, then?”

 

“She doesn’t have a home. The bank foreclosed. She’s at Giles’ hotel.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this. You’re not what she needs. Why should I trust you?”

 

“You’re alive, aren’t you?”


	2. Chapter 2

Xander gripped the steering wheel of his car. “I don’t know how the hell you talked me into driving you.”

 

“I don’t get it.” Spike twitched with nervous energy in the passenger seat. “She’d been having a bad time of it, yeah, and maybe she did love me. I thought she might, much as she denied it. But she’s strong. She’s the Slayer. You’re not tellin’ me everything.”

 

“No,” Xander replied. “There’s more. A lot more. And as much as I hate to admit it, it’s not all your fault.” He stared at the road ahead, trying to concentrate. “It really fell apart when Tara died.”

 

“What!”

 

“I forgot. You’re really out of the loop. Look, I know you’re in a hurry to see her, but I can’t talk about this while I’m driving. I’m pulling over here.” The donut shop was closed; the lot vacant. He stopped the car. “Did she tell you about the three losers she’d been fighting?”

 

“No. I mean, I knew there was sommit goin’ on, but not what. We didn’t talk much.”

 

“Spare me.” Xander leaned back in his seat and took a deep breath. “There were these three guys, Andrew, Jonathan and Warren. They’d been tormenting Buffy for months. Warren killed Tara.”

 

“Warren,” Spike muttered. “God, no.” Spike saw flashes of Tara’s smile, teasing him at the party about the ice, her gratitude when he punched her in the nose. He could have saved her.

 

“Did you say something? Anyway, Buffy was already a basket case, missing you for god knows what reason. No one knew how close she and Tara had become. That sent her over the edge.” He was rubbing his hands together until his knuckles were white. “Of course, not only her.”

 

“Red.”

 

“Willow was insane. All that frustration she’d bottled up, all her love for Tara, everything poured out at once. None of us even guessed how powerful she was.” He looked at Spike. “Did you see the movie Queen of the Damned?”

 

“No. Read the book, though.”

 

“Remember the part when the vampire queen made people burn up, with her mind?” Spike nodded. “Andrew and Jonathan went in one burst, but with Warren, she started slow and heated up. He knew what was coming. I’ve never heard a scream like that before. I hear it now, over and over. I almost felt sorry for him.”

 

“And Buffy?” Spike asked.

 

“Willow was out of control. I mean, she couldn’t stop. Don’t think she wanted to. Buffy knew what she had to do. Couldn’t do. And I couldn’t help her, because I love Willow. I’ve always loved Willow.” He shut his eyes tight. “Listen, I can’t talk about this. We’ll go to the hotel. Giles knows the story. He can explain.”

 

“Then drive. I need to see Buffy.”

 

Xander started the car again and they drove in silence until he pulled up into the hotel parking lot. “I want you to know something. If you make things any worse for her than they already are, chip or no chip, I’ll stake you if I have to do it in your sleep.” He unlocked the doors. “If you hurt her again, I’ll kill you.”

 

“If I hurt her again,” Spike said, “I’ll let you.”


	3. Chapter 3

Xander knocked on the hotel suite door, and the former Watcher opened it. “Guess who’s back in town.”

 

“Spike.” Giles ushered the vampire into the room. “I don’t know if that’s good news or not. Where have you been?”

 

“Can’t you tell by my deep tropical tan?” Spike stared at the unresponsive Watcher. “No, you’re right. It’s not funny. A long way away. Where’s Buffy?”

 

“How much has Xander told you?”

 

“Some of it,” Xander interrupted. “Not all of it. Not what happened to Willow. In the end. And there’s something you should know, Giles.” He pointed at the vampire. “He says his chip is gone.”

 

The former librarian reached instinctively for a weapon, but there were none on the desk. He picked up a pencil.

 

“Bloody hell, Rupert, put that down. You’re safe enough with me.” He moved towards the bedroom door. “Buffy in there?”

 

As if on cue, Anya walked through the door. “She’s finally asleep. More or less. Oh, hello Spike.”

 

“Anya.” They avoided eye contact. “Can I see her?”

 

“Let her sleep. She needs it.” She sat down on the couch. “How much do you know?”

 

“Much as the whelp’s told me. Tara’s dead, something’s happened to Willow, Buffy’s...”

 

“Dying again.” The men started at her words. “Well, someone should say it. She doesn’t eat, and I think she was anorexic already. She doesn’t care about anything. She’s going to fade away, and this time Willow won’t be here to bring her back.”

 

“So,” Spike asked, chilled by her words, “Red’s dead too?”

 

“Not exactly.” Giles took off his glasses and cleaned them with his shirttail. “Anya helped with that. Buffy couldn’t kill her. Wouldn’t have, even if she could. Anya called in a few favours.”

 

“She’s with D’Hoffryn.”

 

“She’s a vengeance demon?” Spike sat heavily on a chair in the corner. “That was your great solution?”

 

“No,” Anya said. “She’s with D’Hoffryn. He’s watching her for us. She might as well be in prison.”

 

“There was no one else who could contain her,” Giles added. “No where else.”

 

“I’ll never see her again.” Xander pounded his fist on the desk. “Doesn’t that bother anyone else? Anyone but me and Buffy? My best friend is trapped in some hell, her heart broken, and you talk about ‘containing’ her.”

 

“Settle down, Xander,” Anya said coldly. “We’ve been through this a million times. And we all know how much you miss your precious Willow.”

 

Spike jumped up, pacing around the room like a caged wildcat. “I want to see Buffy. I need to see her.” He walked over to the bedroom door, placing his palm on it, gently. “She’s awake.”

 

“How do you know?” Giles asked. “Do you hear her?”

 

“I just know.”


	4. Chapter 4

Spike pushed the bedroom door open. The room was dark, but he could see. Buffy, love?” he said softly. “I’m back.”

 

She lay in the bed, pale against the hotel linen. Her eyes, sunken in dark circles, were wide opened and staring. She didn’t respond to his voice.

 

He sat on the edge of the bed and took her hand. “I’m back, pet.” There was nothing to her, now. He had thought she was tiny before, but now she was frail, emaciated. She could have been a hundred. Her skin stretched tight over her bones. He was afraid if he squeezed her hand, with just the slightest pressure, it would shatter. Tears filled his eyes. “My sweet, sweet darling.”

 

“Spike?” The voice sounded distant, like it came up from the bottom of a grave. “That’s funny,” she said. “I think I hear Spike.”

 

“It’s me, love.” He kissed her forehead tenderly. “I’m home.” He climbed onto the bed with care, wrapping his arms around her, afraid to disturb her. “Home to stay.” He thought he saw the ghost of a smile play on her lips.

 

“Why did you leave me?”

 

He could have said, ‘because you didn’t want me, because you finally convinced me you hated me’, all the things he’d planned on the long trip back. “Because I’m a fool.”

 

“No,” she said softly. “That would be me.” She shifted a bit, pressing herself against him. “I’m sorry I made you hate me.”

 

“Is that what you thought, Slayer? That I left because I hated you?” He stroked her forehead. “I love you. I’ll always love you.” He heard her tears come then, in little sobs. “I went because I wanted to be worthy of you. I went so you could love me.”

 

“It worked.” She turned to look at him, but he was a shadow in the darkness. “Are you really here? Because this is just like a dream I keep having. And if it’s the dream again, I’d rather not wake up this time.”

 

“Shhh. It’s not a dream. You’re awake. I’m here. I’m not leavin.”

 

“Tara’s dead, Spike. I told her about us, long ago. She said it was alright, if I loved you. Why didn’t I listen to her, Spike?” She started to flail about in the bed. He held her, but she was surprisingly strong even yet. “She was my friend. Why couldn’t I save her? And Willow. Why couldn’t I help Willow?”

 

“I know, pet. I know what happened. You did your best; you always do.” He tried to calm her. “Sleep now, love. I’ll be here. You can tell me all about it later, when you’re feeling better.”

 

“Spike, they took Dawn away. They won’t even let me see her.” She buried herself in his strength.

 

“We’ll deal with that too. Everything you need. Later.” He wrapped himself around his love like a security blanket.

 

“I want to live now.”

 

“That’s good, pet.”

 

“I love you.”

 

His cheeks were moist with his own tears. “I know.”


	5. Chapter 5

Anya sat next to Giles on the couch, her head resting on his shoulder. As the bedroom door opened, she dropped his hand and sat up straight.

 

Spike stepped back into the sitting room. “She’s asleep. Where’s Harris?”

 

“Xander wanted to go into the bedroom after you,” Giles explained. “We told him not to.”

 

“He left in a huff,” Anya added. “He hates you. I wouldn’t feel bad. He hates me, too.”

 

“Because of D’Hoffryn. And Willow,” Spike said.

 

“And other things.”

 

Spike looked back towards the door. “She looks so...why isn’t she in a hospital?”

 

“She refused,” Giles said. “We tried. Have you ever been able to get Buffy to do something she’s adamantly opposed to, because I haven’t.”

 

“Bollocks!” Spike cried. “How could you let this happen!”

 

“I haven’t been long back myself,” Giles answered. “Not soon enough, in any case. She wasn’t in much better shape then. I was appalled.”

 

“She started to go downhill when you left.” Anya stood up and stretched. “We tried to help. All of us. And then Tara died, and Willow went crazy, and Xander, well, his interest in Willow went a little deeper than I thought. Not that I really cared so much any more. But really,” she looked into Spike’s eyes now, “if you want to know who to blame, look in a mirror. Well, not that you’d see anything, but you know what I mean.”

 

“You think I don’t know that?” He slumped into the armchair. “You think I don’t hate myself for what she’s become? I had no idea. If she...” His voice broke, and he buried his head in his hands.

 

Giles stood up and walked over to he vampire, resting his hand on Spike’s shoulder. “I know how much this hurts you, son. How much it hurts us all. But you have to face the possibility that Buffy won’t be coming back to us. That things are too far gone.”

 

The blond head shot up. “No. I don’t believe that. She wants to live, now. She told me so. Rupert, order up a bowl of broth from room service. Something light to start with.”

 

“She won’t eat it,” the man answered.

 

“She’ll eat it.” He jumped up. “I’m taking her back to my crypt, soon as she’s strong enough. Nursing her back to health.”

 

“I don’t think...”

 

“Sod what you think. She’s gonna get strong, and she’s gonna get her life back. And Dawn.”

 

“And where will you fit in?” the Watcher asked. “Supposing you can accomplish this, you’re still a vampire, and she’s still the Slayer. Now you have the added complication of the loss of that chip. How can she trust you? Unless you’ve also acquired a soul.”

 

“A soul.” He laughed bitterly. “A wise man recently told me that the soul doesn’t matter two bits. That it’s the heart that counts. Well,” he pointed to the bedroom door, “I love that woman in there with all my heart. So just order the bloody soup!”


	6. Chapter 6

“Hello, Buffy,” Giles said, standing beside the bed. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Giles?” The young woman looked up at her Watcher, confusion on her face. “When did you get here?”

 

“Two weeks ago, Buffy? Remember? Xander called me, and I came right over.” He leaned down and kissed her on the forehead. “You’ve been staying here with me.”

 

“Oh, yeah. Right. I forgot.” She looked concerned, as her eyes darted around the room. “I thought Spike was here. It seemed so real.” Her lower lip quivered. “I wanted it to be real.”

 

“I’m right here, love.” Spike stepped into the bedroom. He was pleased to see the smile light up her face. It made her look like a young girl again. “Look, Buffy. I’ve brought you some soup.”

 

“Thank you. I’m not hungry.”

 

“That’s fine, pet, but you’re goin’ to eat it anyway. Just to please me.”

 

Giles carefully lifted her upper body, as he slipped behind her, propping up her frail frame. Spike sat beside her on the bed. She looked down at the spoon he offered like it were a demon she had met on patrol. “What kind of soup is that? It doesn’t look very good.”

 

“Beef broth, love. Had to take what we could get from the room service. But I promise, you eat this up, and soon it’ll be anything you want. Steak, spaghetti, vats of chocolate if you like. But first,” he waved the spoon in her face, “eat the soup.”

 

“Okay.” She took the liquid in her mouth and swallowed. “It’s not so bad.”

 

Giles burst into a wide grin. “That’s the spirit, Buffy. Drink it down.”

 

“Anything’s better than a Doublemeat Medley.” She swallowed spoonful after spoonful of the broth as Spike offered it. “It tastes pretty good. I guess I was hungry after all. Any crackers?”

 

Spike put down the empty bowl and stroked her hair. “Not right now. Solid food later. Don’t want you bein’ sick. You keep this down and we’ll see about sommit else.”

 

“Okay.” She smiled as Giles gave her a gentle hug, then pulled away so she could lie back on the bed. “I don’t remember eating anything for a while. I don’t remember a lot of things. This is a hotel, right?” Giles nodded. “I don’t have the house anymore, do I?”

 

“That’s alright, Buffy,” the Englishman said. “You can stay here with me as long as you like.”

 

“Where are you sleeping?” she asked.

 

“There’s a pullout couch in the other room. Quite comfortable, really,” he answered.

 

“I can’t do that to you. Put you out of your bed anymore. And I won’t let you pay for another room for me. This must be costing you so much as it is.”

 

Anya popped her head in. “How’s she doing? Need anything?”

 

“Hi, Anya.” She looked up at the ex-demon. “Thank you. I sort of remember you looking after me.” She looked back at Giles. “So what do I do now? I don’t have anywhere to go.”

 

“Yes you do, love.” Spike took her hand in his. “I’m going to fix the crypt up again, right posh, top to bottom. Then you’re goin’ to come and live there. With me.”


	7. Chapter 7

“Suppose she did say yes. You can hardly tell me that the Buffy we spoke to in there is acting rationally. She barely knew where we were.” Giles tried to contain his anger, but was failing rapidly.

 

“She has to go somewhere. She won’t stay here. She said as much. She gets strong enough, she’s comin’ with me.” Spike paced in the hotel suite sitting room. “I can look after her. She needs that. Hell, I need that.” He stopped, putting his hand on the other man’s shoulder. “I owe her that.”

 

“You haven’t considered the ramifications. Yes, she drank one bowl of soup, and I’m grateful to you.” He stepped away. “But that’s a far ways from getting back to herself. I fear that serious damage has been done to her, physically and emotionally, and as much as you love her, it may be too much for you to handle.” Giles sat on the couch. “She’ll continue to stay here.”

 

“But you heard her. She won’t stay.”

 

“Keep your voices down,” Anya interrupted. “She doesn’t need to hear this. You know Buffy. She’ll do what she wants to do.”

 

Spike dropped his voice. “She won’t stay. She hates puttin’ you out. She won’t let you sleep on that lumpy pull-out couch any longer.”

 

“Oh,” said Anya, “it isn’t that lumpy.” She caught Giles’ eye. “I don’t think I was supposed to say that.”

 

Spike was momentarily jarred from Buffy considerations. “You two?” He looked from one to the other. He could swear the Watcher was blushing.

 

“I didn’t have anywhere to go. I’d given up my apartment, and I sure as hell couldn’t move in with Xander.” She was moving her hands frenetically, talking at an ever quickening pace. “I stayed with D’Hoffryn for a bit, but then he had Willow with him, and I felt like a fifth wheel again, and I wanted to help Buffy, I think I owed her that even though I had no idea about you two but still, and then Rupert came back, and he had this big suite and I could help him with Buffy and...”

 

“It’s all right, dear.” Giles put his arm around her shoulder. “We don’t have to explain ourselves.”

 

“Good.” She melted into his shoulder. “I felt like I was going to pop.”

 

“Still, Spike,” Giles continued, “Buffy needs a great deal of care. She needs to reconnect with life. You don’t live in a house, or even an apartment. You live in a mausoleum. As nicely as you may fix it up, a crypt is still a crypt. Do you have heat? Do you have running water? I do not think that you’ve thought this decision through.”

 

“It’s not like there’s a lot of options, Rupe. From what I understand, Buffy is less than broke. I’m not exactly swimmin’ in it, though I can get my hands on some cash in a fairly legal way if need be. Doubt that you’re exactly flush, with plane flights and hotel bills. Bet the Council’s cut you off. Besides,” he smiled, “you aren’t getting any younger.” He gestured to Anya. “Time to get on with your own life. Let Buffy be my responsibility now.”

 

“I appreciate all that, Spike, but even if your plan were feasible, from what I understand, that crypt needs major renovation, just to be up to its former level. You’ve never given any indication that carpentry is your area of expertise. I doubt that you can afford to hire the kind of help to make that crypt a suitable home for Buffy, even temporarily.”

 

There was a knock at the hotel door, and Spike answered it. “Ah, Harris,” he exclaimed, “just the man I want ta see.”


	8. Chapter 8

“You know, Spike, I knew you were a jerk. I knew you were delusional. I knew you were a pain in the ass. But I never really thought that you were stupid.” He poked his finger at the vampire’s chest. “There is no way under God’s green earth that I would ever, ever help you get Buffy under your roof. In fact, there’s no way I would help you do anything.”

 

“So,” smirked Spike, “you won’t fix up the crypt with me then. Guess I’ll have to do it myself.”

 

Xander turned to Giles and threw up his arms. “You can’t honestly tell me that you go along with this lame brained idea.”

 

“No,” replied Giles, “I don’t. But Spike cares for Buffy, deeply, and I think you should hear him out.”

 

“Is it such a bad idea?” Anya asked. “I mean, neither of them have any money. The place is there. And that crypt isn’t so bad. I lived way worse places when I was a vengeance demon.”

 

“Anya has a point.” Giles stood beside her. “As strange as the idea is, we’re running out of options.”

 

Xander exploded. “I can think of a hundred better ideas. A thousand.”

 

“Name one,” Spike said, looking up at the taller man.

 

“Buffy could come and live with me.”

 

“Name two.”

 

“Xander,” Giles interrupted, “I do think it best Spike and Buffy stay together, wherever that may prove to be. She’s made remarkable progress in the short time he’s been here. I can’t but think that he’s what she needs at this point. She seems to truly love him, and he her.”

 

“What, did that blindness spell come back?” Xander shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re buying this. He’s a vampire, an evil, cheating vampire. You can’t trust him. How do you know he won’t just walk off and leave her again when things get tough?”

 

 

Spike growled and violently shoved Xander up against the hotel door. “I will never leave her again. Ever. She’s my life, you idiot.”

 

“Right. And that’s why you boinked my ex.”

 

“Stop it!” Anya ran to the two and pushed them apart. “That wasn’t his fault. And it wasn’t any of your business, not after what you did to me. Buffy is still in the next room, and she’s going to get really ticked off with me if I kill you both. So can it!”

 

“You demons really stick together, don’t you,” Xander spat.

 

Giles stepped over to Anya and put his hand on her shoulder. “There is no reason to take your anger out on either of them. They’re both trying to help Buffy, as are we all.”

 

Xander broke away from the three and headed towards the bedroom door. “I knew you’d take her side. I’m going to see Buffy now, and you aren’t going to stop me. There is no way I’m letting Spike drag her down into his personal Hellmouth. I will stake him, first.”

 

“You may have to,” Spike muttered under his breath. “But I’d like to see you try.”


	9. Chapter 9

Xander swallowed his anger as best he could and stepped into the bedroom. “Hey, Buffy,” he smiled. “You’re awake.”

 

“Hi Xander.” She patted the bed beside her. “Sit.”

 

He sat beside her and took her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb. “You look pretty together. I’m glad. I was kinda worried there. I missed you.”

 

Her eyes clouded over. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been there for you, and you were always there for me, through everything. You’re my best friend.” She squeezed his hand weakly. “I love you, you know.”

 

“I love you back. And it wasn’t your fault. You did your best.” His voice dropped to a low growl. “If Spike hadn’t left...”

 

She pulled her hand away from his. “Don’t blame Spike. It was my fault. There are things you don’t know.”

 

“I know enough.” He ran his fingers down the hair at the side of her face. “You aren’t really thinking of moving into that tomb with him, are you? It’s crazy. I’ve told you, you can move in with me. I have the room.”

 

“And I told you no. It really doesn’t seem so crazy to me.” She looked at him and sighed. “I know you don’t want to believe it, but I love him. I’m in love with him. And the crypt is okay. I used to spend a lot of time there, when I came back, and I was comfortable there. I’ve been in worse tombs.”

 

“Don’t talk about that.”

 

“About what? About being dead all summer? About waking up in a box and crawling my way out through the dirt?” There was panic on her face.

 

“Calm down, Buff. It’s not good for you, getting upset.” There were tears in his eyes. “I’m so, so sorry. We didn’t know.”

 

“And I’m not blaming you. Not any more. If I could bring Tara back, undo everything that happened with Willow, I would. I get it, now.” She took his hand again. “But that’s not the point. Spike and I share something, so deep. I pushed it away for a long time, and now I don’t want to waste a second. Help him fix up the crypt? For me? Because I don’t think he can do it himself.”

 

“But Buffy, why the crypt? If you have to live with him, why not an apartment somewhere?” He stood up and paced beside the bed. “It’s crazy. I won’t do it. Please don’t ask me to do it.”

 

“We can’t afford an apartment, Xander. And I want to live in the crypt. It just seems right somehow. I don’t think I can explain it.” She looked up at him with her big, luminous eyes. “Don’t do it for him. Do it for me. I know I don’t have any right to ask, but please.”

 

“God, I don’t believe I’m saying this. Okay, I’ll help him. But if he gets on my nerves, I won’t be responsible for any impromptu stakage.”

 

“You’d better not. I want him in one piece,” Buffy laughed. “Thank you, so much.”

 

“It’s good to hear you laugh, Buffy. Been a long time.”

 

The door opened and Spike poked his head into the bedroom. “How’s it going, love? Everything okay?”

 

“Great,” she smiled. “Spike, can you order me some more soup? And maybe a few pieces of toast?”

 

“Consider it done.”

 

“And I’ve talked Xander into helping you fix up the crypt. For us.”

 

Spike broke into a wide grin. “That’s my girl.”


	10. Chapter 10

They were on the couch, so engrossed in their kisses that it took a minute to register her, leaning against the doorframe for support, staring.

 

“Buffy, you’re up,” Giles exclaimed.

 

“Apparently I’m not the only one.” She tottered as Giles ran to her, leaning on him as he helped her into the chair. “God, Anya, can’t you keep your hands off anyone?”

 

Giles stood in front of Buffy’s chair, frantically cleaning his glasses. “You should stay in bed until you’re stronger.”

 

“Change the subject much?” the frail Slayer asked. “What’s going on?”

 

Anya rose and took Giles hand. “I’m in love with Rupie.”

 

“Rupie?” Buffy stared at Giles. “This is just weird. Wait a minute, Anya’s been here for a while. Has she been sleeping here? Come to think of it, I do so not want to know the answer.”

 

“Buffy, I hardly think you’re in the position to question my relationship choices. You are still planning to move into a vampire’s crypt, aren’t you?” Giles asked.

 

“But I love...” she looked into her Watcher’s eyes and saw the truth. “Oh. Touche.” She judged the proximity of the couch to her bedroom door. “Either you two are very quiet, or I’ve really been out of it.”

 

“You’ve really been out of it,” Anya responded.

 

“You guys have been so great to me. Look before we change the subject, and I really want to change the subject, I think you two should take the bedroom and let me sleep out here. Just until I move out.”

 

Giles leaned down, placing his hand on Buffy’s shoulder. “We won’t hear of it. You’ve just started your recovery and you still need a great deal of undisturbed rest. We will be quite comfortable out here.”

 

“It’s okay,” Anya added. “Though now that you’re awake more, I guess we will have to be quiet.”

 

“And with that, I will change the subject.” Buffy looked around the room as if she’d just noticed something missing. “Where are the guys?”

 

Anya sat back on the couch. “They went to the crypt so Xander could assess the damage. And figure out how much making it human livable would cost.”

 

“Money again,” Buffy groaned.

 

“I think you’re very broadminded,” Anya added, “moving in with Spike. It’s not like he has that chip anymore.”

 

“What?” Buffy gasped. “What are you talking about?”

 

Anya continued. “Didn’t he tell you? You should have seen him throw Xander up against the wall. I found it very satisfying.”

 

Giles opened the hotel room door to the sound of Spike’s knock. “You didn’t tell her.”

 

“Tell her what?” the vampire asked. “Hello, love, we’re back.”

 

Buffy rose from her chair, and tried to back away from Spike. “How...how...”

 

He rushed towards her and caught her as she collapsed. “What’s going on? What did you tell her?”

 

“She knows about the chip,” Giles said. From the corner of his eye he noticed Xander gloating at the doorway.

 

“That was for me to tell her,” Spike exclaimed, carrying her towards the bedroom. “Bloody hell!”


	11. Chapter 11

Spike pushed the bedroom door closed with his foot, before the others could follow them in. He carefully laid Buffy on the bed and knelt beside it. “Wake up, love,” he said gently, “It’s okay. It really is.”

 

Buffy opened her eyes and looked at Spike. “Who are you?” she asked.

 

“Buffy?”

 

“I mean, who are you really, Spike?” she stared at him, her face betraying no emotion. “You come back after all this time, and you tell me you still love me. You want me to be with you. But you leave out one little all important detail. How am I supposed to trust you now?”

 

“I wanted to tell you. I was going to tell you.” He put his hand on hers, but she pulled back. “You’re so weak. I didn’t want to upset you.”

 

“Upset me. Right.” Her lip quivered and tears dropped from her eyes. “I can’t do it. I can’t kill you now. It’s too late.”

 

“Buffy, my sweet love, you won’t have to kill me. I’ll never give you cause.”

 

“But Anya,” she sniffed back the tears, trying to look at his face, trying to believe, “she told me that you hurt Xander. Threw him against the wall.”

 

“And he’s fine, isn’t he? If I really wanted to hurt him, I would've. Everything, killing, feeding, it doesn’t matter to me now. Making you happy, getting you well, that’s all that matters.” He reached out for her hand again, and this time she let him take it.

 

“How?” she asked. “The chip. Why?”

 

“You know how it was, before I left. I thought you hated me. I hated myself. Knew I couldn’t live like that anymore, feet in two worlds. I needed to be me. Get rid of the chip. Maybe I’d changed. Maybe I was still that evil thing you were afraid of, but I had to know.” He felt her squeeze his hand, and he sat on the edge of the bed. “I heard about someone, a wise man, who could help. Don’t laugh, but they said he could give me a soul.”

 

“You wanted a soul? For me?” she asked.

 

“No, bugger it, for me.” He cupped her cheek in his palm, as she smiled up at him. “Don’t smile yet. I’ve something else to tell you.” He paused, like he hoped something would interrupt him, like a convenient apocalypse. When it wasn’t forthcoming, he continued. “The night I found out that I could hurt you, remember, not long before we...well, I wanted to know if the chip still worked. So I found a young woman, alone in an alley, and I talked myself into biting her. I couldn’t of course, not with the chip, and it wasn’t as easy as it used to be, but I did try.”

 

She considered his words. “You didn’t bite her.”

 

“But I would have. I wanted you to know. That’s the sort of thing I needed to understand about myself, whether I was still a killer. Whether I was worth loving. And if it proved I couldn’t do it myself, then dammit, I’d get me a poncy soul of my own.”

 

 

“Did you get a soul?” She looked into his eyes, to see if they seemed different than she’d remembered.

 

“Wise man told me I didn’t need a soul. That love was enough. Then he worked a little mumbo jumbo, and voila, chipless. Funny thing was, I didn’t care about the killin’ anymore. Realized I hadn’t for a long time. The old git was right; love had changed me. So here I am.”

 

She reached out for him. “And here you are.”

 

The voice outside the door was loud and angry. “Yeah, I’m happy she’s breaking up with him! But it’s too damn quiet in there. What if he’s hurt her? Get your hand off me Giles, I’m going in.” The door swung open to reveal Buffy and Spike, wrapped in each others’ arms on the bed.

 

Spike looked up at the intruder. “Hello, Harris. Never learned how ta knock?”


	12. Chapter 12

Xander stared down at the couple on the bed. “But I thought...”

 

“I am not breaking up with Spike.” She patted the space beside her. “Sit.”

 

“Not with Captain Octopus wrapped around you like that.”

 

Spike was getting fed up. “Now, listen here...”

 

“Spike.” Buffy looked at her lover, and he shifted, sitting up beside her on the bed. “Bloody hell,” he grumbled, still clasping her tiny hand in his.

 

“I won’t have this,” Buffy sighed. “You are two of the most important men in my life.” She gestured to Xander again, and he sat beside her. “The other one is out there,” she pointed to the door, “but I don’t think there’s room for Giles to sit here too. Besides, I want to talk to you two.”

 

“What is it, pet?” Spike asked.

 

“I’m so tired. I want to get well, I want to get out of this bed. But how can I get better when the two men I love are at each other’s throats?”

 

“He started it,” Spike muttered.

 

“Very mature. Xander, why do you hate Spike? I mean, I know there were things in the past, but why now?” Buffy looked up at her best friend. “Is it Anya? Because if I could get past that...”

 

“No, it’s not that. If it were, I’d be tearing a strip off Giles. That’s worse; she’s in love with him. It’s just,” he glared at Spike, “I don’t trust him. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

 

“I would never hurt her,” Spike insisted. “Never again.”

 

“I’ve loved three women in my life. Four, if I count my mom.” He noticed Spike nodded to that. Did Spike have a mother? “I loved Anya, I loved Willow, and I love you, Buffy. Not the same way, but deep. I hate to see you like this. I know it’s his fault.”

 

“It’s not, though. I drove him away. And what happened after...I couldn’t handle it. But don’t blame Spike.”

 

“I’ve lost Anya, and Willow. I can’t bear losing you too.” He refused to cry. “He did hurt you. It is his fault.”

 

She thought for a moment. Flashed back to the wedding; the debacle with the guests, her friend in retreat. “Xander, I’m not your mother, Spike isn’t your father.” She patted her friend’s hand. “And neither are you.”

 

He felt like she’d punched him in the stomach. When did she get so smart? “I’ve missed you so much, Buffy. And, God, I miss Willow. There must have been something, anything I could have done.” He wiped his eye with the back of his hand. “Spike’s easy to blame.”

 

“I get that, Harris. I do.” Spike looked at the other man with concern. “But don’t ya see, blaming me is hurtin’ Buffy. I never meant ta hurt her. I never want to again. I love her too.” He smiled, “So, see, we’ve got sommit in common after all. Now, tell her about the crypt. If you’re still gonna help me.”

 

Xander was grateful for the distraction. “I’ve got some ideas. I’ve read some articles...don’t look at me like that, vamp boy, I do know how to read. Anyway, there are people who’ve built homes in caves, and the sides of hills. I can adapt some of those concepts. Spike’s already set up a basic bathroom, but I have some ideas for expanding it. As spaces go, the crypt’s not that bad. The cave below’s really solid. And did you know Giles put your furniture in storage? So we don’t need to worry about that. I figure I can set up one bed upstairs for Spike, and put yours in the underground chamber.”

 

“Xander,” Buffy warned.

 

“Yeah, I didn’t think that would get past you. But hey, a guy can hope.”

 

Spike raised an eyebrow. “That he can, mate. It’s workin’ out for me.”


	13. Chapter 13

Xander stood at the bedroom door. “I have to pick up some things after work, then I’ll meet you tomorrow night about seven. Near the entrance to the cemetery, if you don’t mind. If you want me to help you with this, it’s better I don’t end up as somebody’s evening meal, if you know what I mean.”

 

“Right,” Spike replied from his seat at the edge of Buffy’s bed. “And Harris, thanks.”

 

“Don’t thank me yet.” Xander turned to leave, before saying over his shoulder, “Can’t have the Buffster living in a rock pit. Now I just have to make it livable. No pressure.”

 

Buffy smiled as her friend walked out the door. “Thanks for not going all ‘grr argh’ on him, Spike. I know you wanted to, just a little.”

 

Spike curled up next to her. “The boy’s hurtin’. And he’s goin’ to help us. Eatin’ him would be counterproductive.”

 

She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of his hand stroking her arm. “Yeah, Mr. Big Bad. You’d better not.”

 

Giles poked his head through the door. “Xander’s gone. And look what I brought for you, Buffy.”

 

“Oh, joy,” she moaned. “More soup.”

 

“Ah,” Giles exclaimed, “But this is chicken noodle. And whole wheat toast.”

 

Buffy reached for the tray, but Spike took it first. He sat it on the night table, picking up the plate so she could take a slice of the toast. “What,” she said, “they didn’t have white?”

 

Spike looked at her through narrowed eyes. “Eat, Slayer. And don’t be so picky.” He supported her so she could sit up as she ate, watching her nibble at the toast. “Good girl.”

 

“I should say,” Giles smiled. “Would you like me to order up a pot of tea?”

 

“Yes, please,” Spike replied.

 

“I meant for Buffy, but I’ll get enough for everyone.”

 

“Giles,” Buffy asked. Do you mind if I sleep with Spike tonight?”

 

“Oh.” Giles caught his breath. “Do you really...I mean, you’re still very weak. You are an adult, but, well...”

 

“Gutter brain, stop cleaning your glasses. I meant sleep, as in Spike stays here all night. Geez.”

 

The phone rang in the other room. “I wonder who that could be?” Giles hurried out the door.

 

“Do I have to drink tea?” Buffy asked. “When I was little, my mom would give me ginger ale when I was sick.”

 

Spike kissed the top of her head. “Then ginger ale you shall have.”

 

Giles poked his head back into the room. “Spike, could I see you for a moment?”

 

Spike put the soup bowl he had just picked up back on the tray, rose from the bed and left the room. Giles’ tone had been grave.

 

Buffy waited quietly for the two men to re-enter. Her heart sank at the look on their faces. Spike climbed onto the bed and took her in his arms. “What is it?” she asked. “What’s wrong? It’s Dawn, isn’t it? What’s wrong with Dawn?”

 

“Shhh,” Spike soothed, “It’s not Niblet. I’m sure she’s fine.”

 

“Buffy,” said Giles. “I’ve been trying to track down your father through my contacts in Europe. I thought I could force him to take financial responsibility for you girls. I’m so sorry.” He couldn’t bear to see the fear on her face, but he continued. There was no easy way. “That call was from Berne. Your father won’t be able to help. He suffered a heart attack. He’s dead, Buffy.”

 

Buffy’s face froze. Her spirit was already overloaded. How could she take another blow? She waited for the tears she thought must come. Her eyes were empty. How strange.

 

“I’m so sorry, pet.” He stroked her head. “My poor baby.”

 

Her words seemed to come from far away. “I’m an orphan now.”

 

“Yes, love. I know. But you aren’t alone. Never alone.”


	14. Chapter 14

“My God,” Xander exclaimed, as he sat down the pipes he was pulling off the back of his truck. “How is she?”

 

“Broken. Again.” Spike picked up a length of wood and carried it towards the crypt entrance.

 

“So why are you here?” Xander watched the vampire drop the wood and lean against the marble wall. “She needs you.”

 

“I know.” He pulled a cigarette out of this duster pocket and lit it. “I was trying to give these up. Stress, I guess.” He took a drag, then threw the burning cigarette against the wall. “How much does the girl have ta go through? Her mother, her sister, her dead beat dad. He was in debt, by the way, no help there. Everything, all of it, taken from her.”

 

“Not everything. Not us. Why are you here?”

 

“She hasn’t eaten a thing today. Not a bloody thing. She didn’t cry, not at first. Just lay there, quiet in my arms. ‘Bout one a.m. the tears started flowin’ and she couldn’t stop. Sobbed, all night. She was thirsty then; I got a ginger ale from the soda machine for her and she sipped at it. Didn’t finish it. She slept the next day, next to me. I wanted to be there for her, but I fell asleep too. It’s hard to shake off, once it starts. Not like human sleep, not really. I woke up about five; she told me to go, I had to meet you.” He looked at Xander with tear-filled eyes. “It hurts so much, seein’ her like this. I left. She wants us to finish this as quick as we can, get her out of that hotel suite, but I didn’t want to go. She just lies there, hardly talkin’. I’m afraid.”

 

“I remember.” Xander walked over to Spike and put his hand on the vampire’s shoulder. “She shut right down after Willow. I didn’t think she’d ever come back. You started her back. She’ll be okay. She has to.” He picked up the pipes again and carried them towards the crypt. “The sooner we get moving, the sooner we’ll be done. But I can handle this myself. Go to her, if you want to.”

 

Spike looked at the back of the truck. “All this stuff you brought. I can’t pay you, not yet. I’ll get the money, though.”

 

“You don’t owe me anything.” Xander turned back to the truck to grab another load. “I have a friend in demolition who owes me a favour. This is stuff from a site we pulled down. Abandoned house.”

 

“Ironic,” Spike muttered. “You sure you can handle this? If I leave?”

 

“Help me clean off the truck and you can go. You’d probably only get in the way.” He hoisted the wood on his shoulder. “Unless you have hidden carpentry skills?”

 

“None that I know of.”

 

“You did okay with that rudimentary plumbing. That you can help me with.”

 

“Well, technically, that was my friend Clem,” Spike replied.

 

“Then get me Clem.” He lay the wood by the crypt door and went back for more, passing Spike carrying his own load. “How was she when you left?”

 

“Anya was with her. Holding her like she was her own daughter. I wouldn’t have suspected it of the demon.”

 

“I hurt someone great. I know that.” The dark haired man went back to the truck. “She’s happy now, isn’t she? With Giles?”

 

“Seems to be.”

 

“Good.” He shut the back of the truck. “All done. I want her to be happy. I owe her that. I still care about her. You know I’m not in love with her anymore?”

 

“I figured that,” Spike replied, heading out. “Remember to close the door while you’re working. Don’t want any unannounced nasties dropping by.”

 

“This lock’s the first thing I’m installing.” He tossed a shiny object to Spike. “The key. Doubt I’ll still be here when you get back.”

 

Spike caught it, looking back at Xander. “It’s Red, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah. I guess it’s always been Willow.”

 

“Sorry.” Spike turned and headed away.


	15. Chapter 15

Moonlight rippled across the water in the hotel pool. The night air was warm. There were only four occupants for the late night swim.

 

Giles and Anya swam in tandem, long strokes propelling them lap by lap. Buffy floated on her back in the shallow end, Spike supporting her from behind, his arms encircling her upper body. “Kick, baby,” he entreated. “Use those beautiful legs.”

 

“This feels so good,” she sighed. “You feel so good.”

 

“Yeah, well, thanks,” he replied. “But you’re here for the exercise. So kick.” His urging was rewarded with the fluttering of her legs, not strong but a valiant attempt. He pulled her backwards and she smiled, feeling the movement of the water along her body. She looked so tiny in the one piece suit, air pockets forming in the now too generous fabric. “Good girl. Can you kick a little harder?”

 

“I’m getting tired. Can’t I just float now?” She felt him release her body, and she bent her head back, just enough to stay on the surface by herself. “The stars are pretty.”

 

He looked up at the night sky. “Almost as pretty as my girl.” He looked down at her too thin face. At least she was strong enough to leave her room. He was alarmed to see bare patches of scalp through her wet hair, unnoticed when it was dry. If only he could convince her to see a doctor, but she had been adamant. Too expensive. He doubted that was her only concern.

 

“You’re almost done, aren’t you?” she asked. “Soon?”

 

“Xander’s been working like a man possessed. Once he gets onto a project, he’s like a dog with a bone, I reckon. Shouldn’t be more than a few days. You’ll love it. He’s doin’ a great job.”

 

“Wow,” she smiled. “Spike saying nice things about Xander. Next thing you know, Xander will be saying nice things about Spike. Shouldn’t you be helping him more, though? You’re with me so much of the time.” Forgetting to concentrate on staying afloat, she started to dip beneath the surface. Spike caught her in his arms and turned her around to face him. She put her arms around his neck and stood in the water. “This feels nice too.”

 

“Yes, it does.” He kissed her gently then continued the story of the crypt. “He says I get in the way. He’d rather work with Clem. I just drop by when he’s working, now and again, to make sure he doesn’t do something sneaky, like put in a skylight.”

 

Anya swam over and interrupted them. “Why don’t you go have a good swim, Spike?” she asked. “Buffy and I can stay here and paddle around a bit. Besides, we can’t talk about you while you’re listening. Rupie says it isn’t polite.”

 

Spike laughed and swam off towards the deep end, where he and Giles began to race across the pool. The vampire soon gained on the ex-watcher. After a few laps, Giles jumped up on the concrete edge of the deep end and Spike joined him. “How is she, really?” Spike asked. “Shouldn’t she be getting better quicker, Slayer strength and all? I still think she should see a doctor.”

 

“I quite agree,” Giles replied. “She’s been eating a bit more, but a few boiled eggs and half a chicken sandwich aren’t enough. I’m concerned, too, about Hank.”

 

“What about her father?” Spike asked.

 

“He died of a heart attack. I had no idea there was a family history. I could arrange for medical attention for her, through the Council, free of charge, but she refuses.”

 

Spike looked towards the shallow end, watching Anya support Buffy as the walked slowly through the water. “Why the hell is she being so stubborn?”

 

“You.” Giles replied. “She’s afraid the Council will find out about you. They’d never tolerate it. They’d have you eliminated.”

 

“I can look after myself. I’m certainly not afraid of some Nancy boy watchers, no offense.” He saw Buffy stumble, but Anya helped her up. “Nothing’s more important than her health.”

 

“And how would that fare if something happened to you?” Giles stood up and walked towards the diving board. “That would kill her.”

 

“The crypt will be ready in a few days,” Spike said, following Giles. “The change of scene will do her good. It has to.”

 

Anya called across the water. “Spike, come here.”

 

He dove into the water and quickly was by Buffy’s side. “I’m so cold,” his Slayer shivered. “Isn’t the water cold?” Her teeth chattered.

 

Spike helped her up the stairs at the corner of the pool. He took a fluffy towel and started rubbing her down, warming her with the friction. “That’s enough for tonight, then. I’m taking you inside.” Wrapping her in another towel, he picked her up in his arms, carrying her like a child. “Good work, pet. You come out here again tomorrow, with Giles and Anya, when it’s warmer.” The change of scene would do her good. It had to.


	16. Chapter 16

“This is amazin’. I mean, she’ll love it, she really will.” Spike followed Xander on his tour of the newly refurbished crypt. “Upstairs, looks just like a proper livin’ room.”

 

“Yeah, and it was fun setting up the kitchen down here. Lucky you had that generator. And that artesian well. This is a pretty good location, if you want to live in a cemetery, I mean.” He walked along the network of tunnels. “Okay, here’s her training room. I moved the equipment from the Magic Box, since Anya says they’re selling anyway.”

 

“Love the way you padded the walls. Wouldn’t want her crackin’ her pretty head against the rock.” Spike picked up a hand weight and pressed it over his head. “I just hope she can use it. She’s still so weak.” He dropped the weight by his feet. “This is wonderful, truly is. But I’m startin’ to worry, now. It’s so dark down here. She’s not like me, she needs the sunlight. Am I bein’ selfish, bringin’ her here?”

 

“This is a fine time to ask, after I busted my butt of getting this place ready. But I know what you’re saying. Follow me.” Xander led him through the tunnel to a gate. “I locked this up so you won’t get any unexpected visitors.” He pulled a key from his pocket and opened the barrier, walking through the tunnel leading outside. They stepped though a hidden exit, into a little grove. “This place is naturally hidden. But look at the flowers, and the grass. It’s so peaceful, I can just picture her sitting here reading a book, or, well, maybe a magazine. You should see it in daylight. Sunny, warm and private.”

 

“It’s beautiful in the moonlight. How did you find it? Can’t believe I never noticed it before.”

 

“Just stumbled on it. Figured it would come in handy as a secret entrance, or exit.” He stepped back into the tunnels, Spike following. “Buffy’s like a super hero. This is her batcave, or her fortress of solitude.”

 

“Right. So what does that make me, Robin or Lois Lane?” Spike asked.

 

Xander stopped and stared at the vampire. “I would never have pegged you for a comic book reader.”

 

“Don’t forget, I’ve been around longer than they have.” He turned down the corridor, Xander following him now. “Besides, seen them on the telly. Which reminds me, want to take a break and watch?”

 

“Buffy’s colour one upstairs. Not that little black and white antique of yours we put in the bedroom.” He stepped into another chamber. “And you have to see this. Found a mineral spring. Instant hot tub. Just the thing for post Slayage muscle pain.”

 

 

Spike looked at the spring, noting the way Xander had built seats into the side. “You never cease to amaze me. Really. You should be building homes for people, designin’ them, I mean.”

 

“Lack of education,” he sighed. “But I have to admit, this has been fun. Might not make “House Beautiful”, but I think Buffy will like it. And, back to the beginning.”

 

“Grab a few beers from the fridge, and we can take them upstairs.” Spike headed up, while Xander went into the kitchen. ‘I’ve been selling the boy short,’ he thought. ‘Never thought he’d pull it off.’

 

Xander stepped into the living room and handed Spike a bottle. “So, what’ll we watch tonight? Soccer or football?” There was a loud popping noise in the corner. Xander spun around, then froze. His beer fell to the floor, the glass shattering, froth and liquid spilling. He opened his mouth, but the words didn’t come.

 

Spike rose from his chair, warily approaching the intruder. “Red?”


	17. Chapter 17

Willow looked around the barely recognizable room. “Damn D’Hoffryn! Another crypt! He’s got such a lame sense of humour.” Her eyes stopped at a familiar face. “Xander? Is that you? God, you look so young.” She realized who he was with. “You aren’t a vampire, are you, Xander?”

 

“Will?” Her friend’s shocked expression cracked into a wide grin. “Oh, Will!” He rushed at her, locking her into a tight embrace. “I thought I’d never see you again!”

 

“Air. Ribs.” She gasped as he released his hold. “Your heart’s beating, so you aren’t a vampire. How many years has it been?”

 

“Years?” Spike asked.

 

“Months,” Xander told her. “It’s only been a few months.”

 

“Wow.” Willow glanced down at her hands. “Look!” she cried. “They’re all smooth, and tight! No wrinkles or liver spots.” She touched her cheek. “How do I look?”

 

“You look like Willow,” Xander replied. “Your robe’s a little funky, and you’re a bit pale, and your eyes aren’t pitch black like the last time I saw you, but you look like you.”

 

“Can I sit down?” Xander led her to the couch, and she flopped unto it. “It’s so weird. Almost like a dream. Oh, no.” She bent over, her head in her hands. “This is a dream. One last neuron flash before ‘poof’. Though,” she looked up, “If it’s my last dream, why is Spike in it?”

 

“Thanks.” Spike sat down beside her. “Last I heard of you, D’Hoffryn had whisked you off to Arashmahar. Heard you’d done some very, very bad things.” His eyes flashed with just a touch of yellow. “Why are you here? And why aren’t you still there?”

 

“I don’t know.” She steepled her fingers together and brought them to her lips. “Last thing I remember, I was in bed. I knew it was the end. Felt myself slipping away. I remember thinking that I’d finally be free, no more mending D’Hoffryn’s robes, polishing pendants, or listening to Halfrek’s snoring. No more missing Tara, or any of my friends. No more anything. I was so tired. Seemed right, on my hundredth birthday.”

 

“Will, you’re scaring me.” Xander moved toward the couch and traded places with Spike. Taking Willow’s hand in his, he said, “You aren’t old. You’re twenty years old. Those demons must have messed with your mind.”

 

“No.” She pulled her hand away. “I lived my life. Eighty years. A life sentence for all the terrible thing’s I’d done. My life for their lives.” She looked at Xander. “I used that time, though. Used it to learn how to control my magic, to accept it as part of who I was. I had some good teachers.”

 

Spike looked down at her warily. “You were a vengeance demon.”

 

“No. Never.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “Sure, D’Hoffryn asked, every day for about twenty years. But I swore I wouldn’t use magic for destruction, never again. He kept asking, but he never pushed. So, I was a servant. Did for all the other girls. Lived the lonely little life I knew I deserved. Until I went to bed to die, and felt myself being pulled into another dimension. Guess D’Hoffryn figured my sentence was over. But I don’t know why he brought me back here, or why now.”

 

Xander put his arm around her shoulder and squeezed her towards him. “I’m just glad you’re back. I missed you.”

 

“I missed you too.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “I missed everyone. How’s Buffy?”

 

Spike’s eyes clouded. “Not well. Not well at all.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Willow replied. “I want to see her. But I need to ask you, Spike. That’s an amazing aura you have. When did you get a soul?”

 

“When did I…” Spike pursed his lips, then narrowed his eyes. “That sneaky little git!”


	18. Chapter 18

“Okay,” said Xander. “I know you went to look for a soul. But you said that wise man, or whoever he was, said you didn’t need one. So what gives?”

 

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Spike sat heavily into his easy chair. “You think I’d know. You think I’d feel different. Want ta devote my life to charity, or go celibate, or somethin’. I just feel like, well, me.”

 

“You did say you didn’t want to bite anyone anymore. That sounds kind of soulish,” Xander offered helpfully.

 

“Yeah, but that’s been a long time comin’. Long before I went away.” He shook his head. “I just don’t get it. What was with the ‘all you need is love’ crap?”

 

Willow smiled. “Maybe you’re like an ice cream sundae.”

 

Xander looked at his friend, sizing her up. “You sure you don’t want to go lie down, Will? It sounds like you just called Spike an ice cream sundae.”

 

“I said ‘like an ice cream sundae.’ I mean, ice cream sundaes are great. All you need is ice cream and chocolate sauce, and it’s a happy. God, I miss ice cream sundaes...” After a moment she realized the two men were staring at her, awaiting the point of the analogy. “Sorry. Mind wandered. Okay. Ice cream sundae great. But take a big dollop of whipped cream, and it’s all the better. Maybe that’s what your soul is like. Enhances the flavour. More goodness to the greatness.”

 

“My soul is made out of whipped cream.” Spike sighed. “Well, that’s as good an explanation as any.”

 

“You said Buffy wasn’t well,” Willow frowned. “Is she sick? What’s wrong.”

 

“She’s weak, she hardly eats...she’s wastin’ away.” Spike’s desperation was obvious. “I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Yeah,” Xander added. “I thought she’d get better, much as I hated to admit it, when Spike got back. You saw how she was after he left. Then, you know, we didn’t know how close she was to Tara, and after you, well, went magic postal...”

 

“But she isn’t getting any better.” Spike’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I think we’re losing her.”

 

Willow looked stricken. “It sounds like she’s tainted. Then it’s my fault.”

 

“What do you mean?” Spike was at her in a second, pulling her up by her shoulders and shaking her. “Tainted? What did you do to her?” He raised the growl of his voice. “What did you do?”

 

Xander tried to pull him back, but he couldn’t. “Spike, stop it. Listen to me. Spike, if you hurt her, she can’t help Buffy.”

 

Spike dropped Willow back onto the couch, trying to control himself. “What did you do?” he asked quietly.

 

Willow rubbed her shoulder. “I deserved that. That last battle, I threw everything I had at her. If she wasn’t the Slayer, she wouldn’t have survived. Then Anya got D’Hoffryn to whisk me off, and Buffy was left with the damage. I think she’s tainted. Her system’s been poisoned by dark magicks.”

 

“So you can help her,” Xander implored. “Make her better. Do some sort of healing spell.”

 

“No, not a healing spell. Way too intrusive. Too dangerous.” She watched Spike crumble in his chair, defeated. “Don’t worry. I don’t mean there’s no hope. A cleansing spell. I can do that, get the magic out of her system.”

 

“She’ll be okay?” Spike asked. “That’ll fix her up?”

 

“Not exactly.” Willow stood up and paced in front of the couch. “If I do it, she can start to heal. If I don’t, nothing can help her. If she didn’t have Slayer strength, we probably would have lost her already.” She stopped and turned to Xander. “Is the Magic Box still open?”

 

“No,” he replied, “but I have the key. I was getting the equipment out of the training room. There’s not that much stuff left though.”

 

“We’ll swing by there, and then you can take me to Buffy.” She turned to Spike and put her hand on his shoulder. “I’ll do my best.”

 

Spike looked back at her, tears in his eyes. “Help my girl.”


	19. Chapter 19

“Eighty years,” Giles mused, “That’s a remarkable story, Willow.”

 

“Look, I know it’s hard to believe. It’s hard for me to believe and I lived it, every lonely day of it. But it’s true. You know D’Hoffryn wouldn’t have just let me go.” She walked over the Anya and gave her a hug. “It’s so good to see you again. You look great.”

 

Anya pulled back. “Willow, have you forgotten that we can’t stand each other?”

 

“But that was so long ago. You’re the only person from my life I ever saw. Whenever you dropped in on D’Hoffryn, over the years, you’d always make a point of visiting me, telling me about your life, showing me pictures of your kids.”

 

“Kids?” Anya smiled. “I’ll have kids?”

 

Willow slapped her forehead. “I know how to make you believe me. How would I know about you and Giles if I hadn’t found out from you?”

 

“Spike could have told you,” Giles replied, “or Xander.”

 

The dark haired man shook his head. “We didn’t say a word.”

 

Willow thought for a moment. “Okay, I don’t know if this is breaking some sort of rule, but your first daughter’s name is Victoria.”

 

“How odd,” Giles said. “My grandmother’s name is Victoria.”

 

Anya took her lover’s hand. “It’s a lovely name. Oh, Rupie, babies!”

 

“Much as I’d like to believe this, it could be a coincidence. It was the name of a Queen, not hard to imagine that someone in my family might bear it.” He shook his head. “We still have no proof.”

 

“How else would I know this, Anya?” Willow smiled triumphantly. “Halfrek likes to wear men’s briefs.”

 

“It is true.” Anya threw her arms around Giles. “I’m going to be a mommy.” Her lover smiled at that, but he still didn’t seem convinced.

 

“Please,” Willow pleaded, “You have to let me see her. I think I can help her.”

 

“I believe her Giles,” Xander said, putting his arm around her shoulder. “So does Spike. If Buffy wants her to help, let her.”

 

A voice burst through from the other room. “You bloody well will see her!”

 

“It sounds as though Buffy has made up her mind in any case. If Spike can’t convince her to trust you, then I’m afraid you’ll just have to leave.” Giles led Anya to the couch and sat down beside her. “If I couldn’t force her to see a doctor, I certainly can’t force her to see you.”

 

“Leave.” The ramifications of her return hit her foursquare. “I have no place to go. Do I just show up on my parents’ doorstep? ‘Hi Mom, Dad, sorry you haven’t heard anything from me in months.’ And I can’t live with my mother again. I’m way beyond that. I don’t have a job, I don’t have a home. Where am I going to go?”

 

Xander pulled her close. “I have room. Lots of room. Stay with me.”

 

Willow put her arms around his waist. “Thank you.”

 

They heard the loud voice through the door again. “Baby, oh, I’m sorry, so, so sorry. I’m a terrible git. I shouldn’t yell. Please don’t cry. I’m just so worried. Please, pet.”

 

“He has to convince her,” Xander muttered. “Come on, Spike.”

 

Willow looked up at her friend. “You sure I’ve only been gone a few months?”

 

Spike opened the bedroom door. “She’ll see you now, Red. Bring your magic stuff.”


	20. Chapter 20

Willow gasped when she entered the room. She had been too self-absorbed after Tara’s death to see the toll that loss had put on her friend, and the even greater pain she’d felt at losing Spike. By the time of their final battle she could only perceive Buffy as the enemy. But seeing her now, lying pale and emaciated, the enormity of Buffy’s suffering hit her, the suffering that had started the day Willow had cajoled her friends into bringing the Slayer back from the dead.

 

“Hi, Buffy. I missed you. A lot.”

 

“Willow.” Buffy’s eyes were cold and unforgiving. “I wish I could say the same.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“You may have convinced Spike that you can be trusted, but don’t expect that from me.” She looked at the witch, scrutinizing her. “You must have done one hell of a song and dance to convince him. So go ahead. Do your magic.”

 

“Why” she asked. “You don’t trust me.”

 

“What have I got to lose? Look at me, Willow. I’m dying anyway.”

 

Willow called the others into the room. She entreated them to circle the young woman as best they could. The witch sat cross-legged at Buffy’s feet with a bowl of herbs. Xander lit her candle and held it for her, standing on the left of the bed. “You don’t have to join hands for this. Just surround her.” Spike sat on the edge of the bed near Buffy’s head, his hand resting gently on her forehead. Anya and Giles were on the right. They held hands anyway.

 

“Forces of light, hear my plea. Dispel the darkness overcoming. Purify the tainted one. Restore the balance of light and dark. Cleanse the unclean. Release the black. Restore the white. Purify. Cleanse. Release!” With her final words, Willow levitated from the bed. She took the handful of powder she had been holding and threw it into the bowl. Taking the candle from Xander’s hand, she dipped the lit wick into the mixture. With a flash it ignited, billows of gray smoke filling the room, then suddenly dissipating.

 

The occupants of the room looked down at Buffy. All were appalled by the sight. From each of her pores, a dark substance began oozing, welling up until it engulfed her body. Spike reluctantly lifted his hand. Unseen winds filled the room, whipping around the Slayer, licking at her skin until it was white again. She lay quietly on the bed.

 

“She’s so pale,” Spike whispered.

 

Giles felt for her pulse, then with a panicked expression placed his hand over her heart. “She’s gone.”

 

Spike crumbled onto her body, his tears staining the sheets. He kissed her; her marble forehead, her cheeks, her lips.

 

Xander spun at Willow. “I trusted you!” he shouted. “I believed you! You said you’d changed; you’d learned your lesson.” He grabbed her arm and pulled her from the bed. “You liar! You killed her!”

 

“I tried,” she cried. “I did my best. She was so weak. I did everything I could.”

 

Giles stood horrified, his arms around Anya. She sobbed into his chest. “Get out of here, Willow.” Giles was as cold as death. “Get out of here before I kill you.”

 

“No.” A tiny voice spoke from the pillow. “I’m alive. Thanks, Will. Honey, get off me. I can’t breath.”

 

“Buffy?” Spike sat up, pressing his hand onto her now warming cheek. “Thank god.”


	21. Chapter 21

Spike carried Buffy through the crypt entrance, followed by Giles with her bags, and Anya. His lover’s eyes grew wide as she looked around the room. Clem, Xander and Willow stood together, waiting for her response.

 

“Awesome.” Spike put her down on the couch. “This is amazing. This is the crypt? Look at this place.” She beamed at everyone. “I don’t know how to thank you.”

 

“I hope you like the bathroom,” Clem exclaimed eagerly.

 

Xander slapped him on the back. “I’m sure she will, big guy.”

 

“Wait til you see downstairs, Buffy. That’s the best part.” Willow looked at Xander with pride. “He did the most incredible work. I don’t know how he pulled it off.”

 

“Bloody right,” Spike added. “Harris surprised me, that’s the truth.”

 

Buffy rose unsteadily from her seat and walked over to Xander. She pulled his head down and planted a gentle kiss on his cheek. “Thank you,” she sighed. “It’s wonderful.”

 

“Ready for the guided tour, then?” Spike couldn’t wait to show off their new home.

 

“I don’t know.” Buffy replied. “I don’t think I’m up to climbing down a ladder.” And then she realized, the hole in the ground had become a proper landing, and a long staircase led to the lower level. Holding the handrail, she slowly descended to the bedroom, Spike right behind her, followed by the rest of the crew.

 

“I must say, this is quite impressive,” Giles said. “I had no idea, when Spike first suggested Buffy moving here, that it would all be so elegant.”

 

“Maybe we should think about finding a crypt?” Anya asked.

 

Giles stopped on the staircase. “No, dear.”

 

Buffy reached the bottom, and gasped. “This is so beautiful. I love how you used my furniture. These wall hangings are gorgeous. And...oh, my god, that’s your bed. Spike, how can that be your bed? I blew up your bed.”

 

Xander walked over to the antique and ran his hand along the headboard. “This was my favourite project. I couldn’t just toss such a great piece of furniture. So I fixed it.”

 

“So much for the tour. I’m not getting past this.” Spike helped her up and she climbed onto the mattress. “Sorry guys. You go on. I’m pretty tired.”

 

“Interestin’.” Spike sat down beside her. “We have guests, and now you can’t wait to try out our bed.”

 

“Pig,” she whispered, and he kissed her. “Could you go get my bags? I’d like to get comfortable. I really just need a little rest, and then you can show me everything.”

 

“Everything?” he leered, raising his eyebrow.

 

“Oink.” She nestled down onto the comforter.

 

“You have to see this,” Willow said to Anya. “Xander put in a hot tub.”

 

“Oooooh. Rupie, can we have a hot tub? Do they have hot tubs in England?” The voices faded as they walked further down the tunnels.

 

Spike ran up the staircase and picked up Buffy’s bags. Before he could descend, a familiar form walked through the entrance. “Sorry, Spike. The Thompsons wouldn’t let me out until I finished dinner. Xander finished the crypt, didn’t he? I still don’t know why he was helping you. It looks great. Hey, this is our stuff.”

 

“Come on Niblet.” Spike led his friend down the stairs. “There’s someone I want you to see.”


	22. Chapter 22

Dawn bounced down the staircase. “This is cool, Spike. Did Xander built this? I think the ladder’s better exercise, though. I love what...” She stopped at the bottom of the stairs, struck speechless by the sight of her sister sitting in her friend’s bed.

 

Her sister stared back at her. “Dawnie?” she asked quietly. “How? What are you...?” Her words were cut off by the body flinging itself on top of her.

 

“Buffy? What are you doing here? Where have you been? You look like hell. It’s so great to see you. I missed you. I am so pissed off at you. Why are you in Spike’s bed? What’s going on?” She had a million questions, but her face beamed with joy.

 

Spike gently peeled her back. “Give your sis some air. She’s not been well.”

 

Buffy was beaming back. “I missed you, Dawn. They wouldn’t let me see you. And I live here now.”

 

“With Spike?” Dawn’s confusion only lasted a moment. “Cool.”

 

“But how did you know Spike was back? When did you talk to him? And aren’t you going to get in big trouble for coming here?” Buffy asked with concern.

 

“I met Xander and Spike last week in the Building Box. I was just, like, amazed that he was back. I was so excited, but Mr. Thompson, he’s my foster dad; he was in the next aisle so I tried not to scream or anything. But I wanted to. In a happy way. He told me I should drop over today, but I didn’t think I could, not with my tight leash.” Her words poured out in the enthusiastic flow Buffy had forgotten. She was getting tired just listening to her. “Anyway, yesterday the Thompsons told me that I’d been so well behaved that I didn’t have to report on every little place I went, as long as I was home by 8:30 and didn’t get into any more trouble, which I so don’t want to do because I’m tired of being treated like a baby, so I said I was going to my friend’s place, which I did, and here I am. I think I won’t mention you, though, because I don’t want them to spaz out, even though they’re really nice people and they treat me good, and did I mention they had a daughter my age and she’s okay? But this is so amazing, because if you’re here now I can come see you and Spike too, and I’ve missed you so much and...” She stopped, finally out of breath.

 

Buffy held out her arms to her little sister, drawing her into a hug. She ran her hand over the back of Dawn’s head, stroking her long brown hair. “I missed you too.”

 

The others arrived back in the bedroom, tour completed. “This is truly wonderful, Buffy. I believe you’ll be very comfortable here, and I look forward to your complete recovery.” Her ex-watcher realized that the sisters had been reunited. “Hello Dawn,” he smiled.

 

“Giles,” the teenager shrieked, jumping from the bed and into his arms. “When did you get back? This is so great. And hi, Anya.” She looked beyond the ex-demon to a familiar red-head. “Willow?” She hid behind Giles. “Get away from me! Get out of here! What the hell are you doing here?” Her breath was coming in panicked gasps. “Did you know she was here, Buffy? She’s dangerous. Get rid of her.”

 

“Dawnie, I...”

 

“You tried to kill me! You tried to make me that key again.”

 

“Come here, Dawn.” Buffy gestured her back to the bed. “I know you can’t believe me, but that was a long time ago, to Willow. She’s changed. She saved me. Don’t be afraid.”

 

“I don’t trust her.”

 

Willow looked at her with pain, but patience. “I deserve that, Dawn. I’ll leave.”

 

“No,” Xander said. “Don’t go.” He sat beside Dawn on the bed. “I’m still your friend, right? Good ol’ Xander?” When Dawn nodded, he continued. “You don’t have to like her. You don’t have to trust her, not yet. Just put up with her, for now, okay? For me?”

 

“But why do you...” Dawn looked at Xander, then she looked at Willow. She looked at Willow looking at Xander. “Oh. Okay. I don’t trust her. But she can stay.” She whispered in Xander’s ear, ‘You have lousy taste.’”

 

“You haven’t seen the bathroom yet,” Clem interrupted.

 

“True,” Buffy replied. “And I think I’d better check it out before Clem and I both burst.”

 

Spike helped her down, and led her along the tunnel. He stroked her hand with the back of his thumb. “Welcome home, love.”


	23. Chapter 23

Buffy sat in her rock hewn hot tub, partially submerged in the natural spa. Leaning back, she was almost dozing when Spike entered the chamber. “Sleep well?” she asked.

 

“Better when you’re with me,” he replied. He leaned over the side of the basin and dipped his hand in the hot water. “So, what did ya do today, then?”

 

“I had a very busy day. I trained, for about five minutes. Bench pressed fifty pounds, which is nothing, but it still wore me out. Went out to the garden and read one of your poetry books. And yes, I wore sun screen. Came inside and had a nap, not that you noticed I was there, coma boy. Came in here and soaked. That’s about it.”

 

He narrowed his eyes. “Did you eat anything?”

 

“And I had lunch. Tuna sandwich. Don’t worry.”

 

“I get to worry.” He traced circles in the water with his fingertip. “It’s my job.” He looked down at her nude body and nodded appreciatively. “You’re puttin’ on weight.”

 

“That’s what every girl wants to hear.” She splashed water into his face.

 

“You know what I mean.”

 

“I know.” She looked at him, her large luminous eyes full of life. “I’ve been thinking.”

 

“That’s a switch,” he grinned, as he was barraged with another splash.

 

“I’m serious. I’ve been thinking about your soul. It’s so strange. I’ve been looking for some sort of difference, anything, but you’re just you.” She smiled at him. “Not that I’m complaining. It’s you I love.”

 

He smiled back. “To be honest, Buffy, I’m damned if I know. Or maybe I’m not, now. I know there’s things I regret now. Things I’d never do again? Is that the soul? D’know”

 

She reached out and took his hand. “I’ve been thinking about Dawn, too. I’m going to call Social Services. See if I can arrange formal visits at her foster home. I know she can’t stay here; they’d never agree to that. Besides, I think it’s been good for her, being there.”

 

“It won’t be that long, ‘for she’s of age. Her room’s all ready here, when she’s able.” He frowned. “Wish I could figure out how to get away with hookin’ up a phone line. Maybe a cell?”

 

“Can’t afford it. Not yet. Soon, I’ll go find another job. Something without the involvement of grease.” She sighed. “Meanwhile, hot tub. Join me?”

 

“How long you been in there?”

 

“About a half hour. Why?”

 

“Long enough.” He bent over to pick her up out of the tub, stood her on the side, and dried her off with a fluffy towel.

 

“You’re getting all wet.” She pulled his head down, whispering in his ear, “So am I.”

 

He pulled back. “Don’t rush it, Buffy. I want you to be well again. Don’t forget, you died a week ago. Your heart had stopped.”

 

“Yep. Good thing I wasn’t playing baseball.” She wrapped her arms around him. “I’m much better now. I figure in a week I’ll be back to slaying. Lucky I live so close to the office.” She lifted her head and kissed him, deeply. “Take me to bed.”

 

He picked her up in his arms and carried her down the tunnel to their bedroom. Gently, he lay her down on the sheets. “You’re sure?” he asked.

 

“I won’t break.” She pulled at the hem of his damp t-shirt, lifting it up over his chest. He tugged it off the rest of the way.

 

Divested of all garments, he climbed under the comforter, holding her, skin to skin. “I love you, Buffy. I’ll never leave you again.”

 

“You’d better not.” She brushed her forefinger across his lips. “Do you think, now that I’m better, we’ll start fighting again?”

 

He cocked his head. “Do you want to?”

 

“Sometimes. Maybe. Not tonight.” More gently than their bedchamber had ever seen, they made love. After, as she lay wrapped around him, she whispered, “Now I feel like this is home.”

 

“Me too,” he replied. “Home is in your arms.”


End file.
